We suffer more loneliness when we are more connected than ever.
In our hyper-connected world, loneliness has paradoxically become an epidemic, thriving despite the technological advancements designed to bring people together. The internet allows us to engage with individuals worldwide, from virtual meetups to sophisticated AI applications like "Replika," yet loneliness persists as a pervasive issue in many countries.
A simple search for "how to combat loneliness" yields various recommendations from experts, healthcare providers, and coaches. Suggestions range from leveraging community institutions to fostering personal connections through volunteering, attending events, or joining clubs.
Use community institutions to reduce social isolation.
- Attend services and events at the church of your choice
- Join book clubs at the local library
- Find volunteering activities
- Look for meetups about topics of your interest
- Go back to school
Use your commitment and determination.
- Make a habit of calling or emailing people on your contact list, regardless of how long you have not contacted them.
- Introduce yourself to your neighbors.
- Spend more time outside your home and say hello to people passing by.
- Get a dog; it will force you to take walks and allow you to mingle with other dog owners.
- Get a part-time job where you are in contact with people face to face. i.e., waitress or store assistant.
While these strategies seem straightforward, various challenges can hinder their effectiveness. For elderly individuals, attending community events may be challenging without assistance. Chronic loneliness sufferers often find it difficult to initiate social activities, hindered by a sense of isolation. Moreover, individuals with demanding schedules may struggle to allocate time to address their loneliness amidst work and other obligations.
Even excluding the issues mentioned here, and with so many experts on the matter, the question remains:
Why is loneliness so persistent and difficult to overcome?
Loneliness, in many cases, stems from underlying causes that are challenging to identify and accept. Exploring the roots of loneliness reveals several contributing factors.
Low self-esteem
People who feel incompetent, unworthy of love, inadequate, and afraid of others' judgment tend to isolate themselves. They have difficulties interacting with others and constantly experience explicit and implicit rejection in every attempt to connect with someone or join community activities. These negative experiences increase their isolation and feelings of loneliness.
Depression after losing someone
In many cases, people who have lost a loved one fall into an intense depression that will not be cured through new social connections.
A parent who lost a child, a spouse left alone after many years of marriage, a daughter who, at a young age, lost her only parent, etc. There is no new social connection that can fill the void left by someone who passed away.
Sadness because nobody cares
It's common that people are gradually forgotten by those close to them after some life events like retirement or while suffering from a severe illness. The calls, the messages, and the visits are less frequent until they stop entirely. It also happens to many parents when their children grow up, start a family, and move away.
Lack of confidence
This group constantly fears what others think and tends to blame themselves for anything that is not happening according to their expectations. Even when they crave personal and social connections, they prefer to be isolated because being alone protects them from the harmful society.
Experiencing a Traumatic relationship
Living with someone doesn't mean you are safe from loneliness. Many people who are married or in another type of relationship also feel lonely because their relationship is not working anymore or not working as they expect. They need to be cared for and loved and want to be important or even a priority for their significant other, but they are not.
Some get divorced or break up in search of a better partner, but many fear it, love too much, or simply can't do it.
Being humans
The simple fact that we are humans makes us vulnerable to feeling lonely when we don't have the set of relationships that we desire. Feeling part of something is a basic human need, like eating, drinking water, or breathing.
Some people can be alone for long periods, and they don't feel lonely; it doesn't mean they are not humans; it only means that they have managed to satisfy their needs in a way that works for them.
Can we prevent loneliness?
Most information about loneliness revolves around how to deal with it rather than prevent it. Considering the rising number of cases and tragedies resulting from this epidemic, it's critical to facilitate resources and create institutions to help people suffering from loneliness. But it is also essential to work on preventing the situations that eventually lead to loneliness.
Here are some initiatives that government, schools, communities, and individuals can undertake:
Incorporate Social Skills Education
Introduce social skills education in school curricula, emphasizing the importance of being comfortable alone and in the company of others.
Enjoying and maximizing the experience of interacting with people and being alone requires preparation and expert guidance as we progress through different stages in life and our needs and social environment change.
Making mental health care affordable and normalized
Many personal and social problems could be prevented if we all get opportune mental health care, such as depression, suicidal thoughts, insecurities, addictions, anxiety, and many more.
The mind should be treated as the body; it must be taken care of and strengthened to handle life events more efficiently and in a less damaging and painful way.
A strong mind can better handle and overcome many situations leading to loneliness, such as grief, divorce, separations, disappointments, betrayals, and, in general, any difficulties in life.
Fostering confidence and resilience
Self-confidence and resilience help during all types of life experiences and prepare us better for times of loneliness.
- Helps to move forward instead of backing away from challenges.
- Make us feel valued and not depend on others' opinions or actions.
- Increase a positive rather than negative mindset.
- Drives your energy and motivation to try new things.
- Reduce stress and anxiety.
But nobody can turn on confidence overnight; it needs to be developed, and it's always better to start from an early age because as we grow, it is still possible, just way more difficult.
Promote happiness and positivism
Being a happy person is a trait that some lucky ones possess, but learning to enjoy every moment and cultivating a positive mindset can be learned.
I am not saying that all other emotions should be suppressed; what I am saying is that when people tend to be happy and positive, they tend to be less lonely.
As we collectively address loneliness, it is crucial to shift the focus from reactive measures to proactive initiatives. By instilling essential life skills, prioritizing mental well-being, and fostering positivity, we can build a foundation that prevents loneliness before it takes root.
What else do you think should be done to prevent loneliness?